Epiphany City!

So I'm over at AT and I'm reading one thread I've subscribed to, and decide to actually answer it because one person has posted the reason why they feel Tarot is useful, from the thread of the same name. The gist of the post is about the trials and tribulations of finding a wise one in our life. This is exactly what got me to take the step to learn how to read. For more years than not, I have hoped to find a Teacher. So often seeing others finding one frustrated me. All I seemed to find was the information (from various sources) that all of the answers were inside, already there and I needed to learn to tap into the place within where they dwelt.

Back in '09 I started visiting a tarot site, though was put off by certain aspects of the site itself. On twitter, I'd come across someone who was a reader, and I started following his tweets. One day in February, he posted a link to AT and I came here and signed up and started reading in the 'learn' section. The initial list of what ways in which Tarot can be used included many inner work options. That I'd been considering over the past year or so to begin a study program of some sort, I realize, is what brought me to each place I visited; to each link which opened the next door, was that part of me which has always surfaced looking for that teacher.

On Imbolc (Feb 2), I began to work with ideas of what I should study and do to get back to inner work. After signing up for AT, I noticed that I was suddenly spending more and more time here. While I was looking at the various decks, I came across three to which I felt VERY drawn. My birthday was coming up so I decided that I would gift myself with a deck, and a couple of books. Shortly after I'd done that, I made my way over to the Gaian Tarot site, and decided to ask a question of the Oracle link there. It was a three card reading, and each card stunned me more and more.

The first card was in the 'Opportunity' spot: The High Priestess, and it was like this BIG arrow pointing back at all those moments in my past when I'd been hoping to find that teacher! It literally said "It is time to go within," and it said I should watch for "Omens" in my everyday life. Well, my everyday life included spending time here! And then again "Study divination - reading cards..." By this time I was bouncing up and down in my chair. How wonderful it was to have found a door that had a big WELCOME sign on it.

But the 2nd card had me applying breaks to my exuberance. It was in what they called the 'Challenge position,' and it was The Tower. I now see that the challenge really was for me to NOT do my disaster thinking ritual, when faced with words such as: "Get ready! Life as you have always known it is about to change. It is sudden and it is radical." I skipped right over the encouraging possibilities of having an epiphany, or a flash of insight, and headed straight to the upheaval, and saying that it was up to me how to respond to crisis. It asked me if I'd let it crush me (I thought, you bet!) but I also came here and created a thread to ask others about how they deal with cards that bother then, and got such wonderful answers and encouragement. The thread itself felt like an epiphany!

And then I looked at the 3rd card - The Resolution. This card was called: The Teacher! I nearly fell off my chair! OMB! It actually said that " a spiritual teacher will soon appear in your life..." and then it seemed to be saying what I'd always found in answer to this life-long quest: "It may be that this teacher will appear in disguise," and all of a sudden I had one of those V8 moments! The Cards! 78 Insights Into My Soul!

Needless to say, I've received my cards and have actually begun my journey, knowing and choosing exactly what to do with the time that is given to me.

And oh! oh! oh! now that I'm relating this story here, I want to add that the Epiphany continues, because my choice to begin my own 'Fool's' Journey by starting off spending time with each card, in order, and journaling, and then reading what the meaning of the card is according to the author of the deck I'm using, has brought me to this amazing moment. The card I am just now working with is The High Priestess!

NOW I'm seeing.