Saturday, May 29, 2010

Review Level 3 Reading


May 27, 2010

Using 7 card spread with significator, as per previous two readings.

1. What have I learned from this Level of the Major Arcana? JUDGEMENT

I have learned that judgement does not mean being judged. I have learned that letting myself DO the work leads to success aka liberation from doubt. I can rise from (my old baggage) my past and start a new journey with empowerment. I have learned that I can live comfortably in my own 'skin' and not turn away, but nurture this and all parts of myself equally.

2. Where does my strength reside? THE WORLD

My strength resides in belief in my journey and faith in my teacher. I find strength in my wholeness (through my 'marriage of spirit'), realizing there has been progress with integration.

3. What area needs more work? TEMPTATION (DEVIL)

The area of temptation needs more work. Seeing where and how I am enslaved in a way which creats obstacles in my progress. This includes my health issues, and that taking better care of myself too easily gets put in the back burner.

4. What do I understand the most? THE STAR

I understand the 'return to light (from darkness) the most. The need for creating and living my own ritual, and following my path and understanding that I reinvent this (and myself) in every moment. I understand my need for this is pure and I will increaste my own light in ritual (of which my work and teacher are an integral part). Finding my teacher IS the return of the light from past doubts that I could and would.

5. What puzzles me most? THE TOWER

I KNEW it would be this card. It has puzzled me from the start. I know intellectually the potential of The Tower does not have to lead to disaster thinking. But I cannot see it (feel) it emotionally. It's a knee jerk reaction still.

I keep having epiphanies (I just realized the release of light from the darkness of my addiction TO distaster thinking could be why I have not understood the card). Here (in this reading) it puzzles me. but put it in the challenge position, and it scares me!

6. How can I improve my studies? THE MOON

Trust my intuition. Give greater reign to the feminine. Trust in the balance of both (all) aspects of self, and trust in myself to use what I already know.

7. Who is my greatest teacher? THE SUN

I also have that optimistic side that sees everything is open to me now through my willingness to work and to play and to rejoyce. Today in this moment THE SUN shines brightly upon my completion of the meeting of the Major Arcana. Continue to manifest this optimism.

We Are The World


"We are the world,
We are the children,
We are the ones who make a brighter day,
So let's start giving..."

~ ~ ~ ~

Everything looks brandy new; freshly washed. Perspective is clear. The sense of exultation is like a new flavor of a sucker candy; sweet, juicy, almost sumptuous. A journey will make a body feel like that. The pilgrim returns home; only home is in the heart, now, which means that no matter where you go, there you are, and you are still at home. Yes, folks, home is in the heart.

I find the image on this card beautiful. Center stage is a magnificent wreath, filled with every kind of flower, fruits and veggies, interwoven, top and bottom with a lush red swath of cloth, crisscrossing itself to form a figure 8. Within the center of the wreath is a young woman, floating, it would appear, among the stars. Each corner is representative of one of the four elements: upper left is earth; upper right is air; lower right is fire; and lower left is water. This is The World and having reached this moment, we ARE the world.

Keywords for the world: Transformed, complete, wholeness, enlightened, joyous, triumphant, mastery, balanced, welcoming, friendly, courage, strength, purity.

*song for The World: "We Are The World" by Michael Jackson and friends

Friday, May 28, 2010

Judgement City


"And in the end,
The love you take,
Is equal to the love you make."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was full size, adult size, the child left behind. Walking beyond the stone wall, following a path which led to an archway, much like The Crystal Garden Healing, only the top of the arch was carved into what appeared, to my eyes, to be a relief of the most brilliant autumn oak leaves. I came upon a keeper of this gate. He stood and I could see beyond the links of the web-like metal, a bridge spanned across a chasm. Before I could pass through to the bridge, however, I had to answer two questions:

"Where do you go when you get to the end of your dream?" he asked.

I don't know why this occurred to me, but I said, "You become the light."

While he gave me no indication if I was right or wrong, he address the second question. "How would you finish this thought: And in the end...?"

I shrugged, "The love you take, is equal to the love you make."

Nodding, the keeper took his key and opened the padlock, stepped aside for me to pass. Going through I thought, was that it? I walked across the planks of a wooden bridge, and entered a forest, walking down a path. It felt very much akin to the road I'd been on from the start, even before I came to that first cliff, way back when. At the end of the trail, I found stone steps, similar to those I'd gone down when I met Temptation. For a moment I hesitated, and descended, opening a door...

Before I had the chance to step inside, a woman greeted me. She beckoned me to turn around, which I did. She placed a black silk scarf around my head, covering my eyes. "I will guide you the rest of the way," and she took my hand as we passed through the door. It felt damp, cool, and very quiet. Her touch gave me strength as we walked. I could hear only our footsteps for a brief time. At the point where I felt a warmth against my face, I thought I heard drums, beating in cadence to our movement, and suddenly the hall was filled with music (or was that just inside my head?). As the music filled my head, we ascended a small stairway. The next step, I felt no purchase, at first, and I step into a what felt like a huge tub. My clothes fell away and I heard my guide say, "all you need is love." Intense heat (without pain though) creep up my body, and I felt we were rising. There was a change in atmosphere, a sense of rising up into the outside. Something inside me was telling me I had made it. I lifted my arms and my hands went automatically into the hand sign for 'I love you,' all on their own. I could feel that I had bracelets around my wrists and I was becoming enthralled. I felt wings spreading up behind me, and as the blind fold slipped from around my head, I was... the light! I could see that behind me the most beautiful phoenix, attached to me through a soul connection, was rising from the ashes, as I was, from the seeker I had been into a new seeker; one with the experience and knowledge of a journey taken that had inexorably changed the very fabric of my being. While I felt triumphant, it knew definitely this was only the first of many moments of ascension.

~ ~ ~

waking up

A Gathering of lost fragments, allows you to connect to your higher self.

*Song for Judgement: The End by The Beatles

Wednesday, May 26, 2010



"...Drums like thunder
As you dance across the sky.
Stand in wonder,
At this gift you give.
Attach your spirit to this tree of life
Pray for peace..."*

~ ~ ~

Suddenly you find yourself again, not that you really ever lost yourself. But, heading into the darkness, obscurs the light, strips you of all those daylight inhibitions. You can imagine, returning to the outside, the little one you once were, in a warm, sunny happy place, the last words you remember from the whispers inside your head, 'like an eagle, you take flight. Your heart is strong. You sing your song.' And that is what it feels like, back in a time, laughing and free, running, in that safe place, where the world has not yet touched you. You are young, and yet at the same time ageless. You are almost back home.

Stopping for a moment, you hear words you do not understand, but they are reassuring nonetheless. Music plays in the air, the way you once imagined it would, and then singing echoes off the distant mountains. This is a place of ponies, and light, where the winds of life are still blowing. And it's time, to live and to give our love, and dream, dreams that can come true, just for you. Today your dream is to catch the rainbow. And you smile, with no thought except of the moment. Life is good.

~ ~ ~

While I have found MOST of Robin's Majors to be really well drawn, and pleasing to the eye, I cannot say that of The Sun card. Here is my impression, as noted in my written journal, during the meeting: I am put off by the drawing of the child; he reminds me of Chuckie, the demon doll. Take the child's face away and we have a combination of Magician and a baby Emperor, color and feel wise in this card, though I refer more to The Seeker in comparison.

The idea of the Sun came through, none the less. Following are my SUN insights:

This card shows a return to and of full light, great joy and a return to the innocence of The Fool/Seeker - child self; unfettered by societal mores. There is purity and courage and strength of pure spirit here. We are the Sundancer!

The seeker nears the end of the journey. This is the time to celebrate and play. A sense of accomplishment abounds.

The Sun represents the completion of 'The Journey' and is ready to go to Judgement City, to look at lessons learned on the journey. Will he move on after judgement? Will he be able to truly have the 'World' at his fingertips?

In a reading, I can see this card would represent that everything is open - what was hidden is now seen. If it should land in the Past position, I would say that the way is open for movement onward. Should it be a present situation, it might represent a project finishing successfully. Finally, the Sun of the Future would represent great potential for success.

*Song for The Sun: Sundancer by Denean

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sister Moon

"Sister Moon, be my guide
In your blue, blue shadows
I would hide.
All good people asleep tonight
I'm all by myself
In your silver light..."*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I can hear the song of the wolf, howling as the Mistress of the Night rises; no ghostly galleon this, only clear sailing across the dark velvet sky. I am reminded of how on a winter night, when the land sleeps beneath a blanket of snow, the Lunar Orb reveals what is otherwise hidden on moonless nights. But this is not the stark cold silence of winter. This is a night filled with the music of tree frogs, and crickets, and wild abandon. It is that time when I can feel the earth, cool against my own bare feet, peeling away inhabitions, and where we are like derishes, twirling and whirling around, arms flailing out, happily kissed by the evening air. Magic, always an elusive lover, grows substantial, weaving a sensual web into which we all dance.

As I have heard it said previously, the image on the face of The Moon card depicts a full moon cradled in the arms of the crescent. Never having seen this card before this evening, I was surprised when I turn it over and laid my eyes upon the picture. After studying it for quite some time, allowing thoughts to form, I was able to see that this was a more active card because I can imagine - almost hear - the wolf and dog howling.

In the progress from the darkness at the end of the storm, through the starlight vision, we move into greater sight; still a reflection of our Sun, we begin to have night vision, an understanding of hidden wisdom - that which represents the feminine and from whom the High Priestess gains Her knowledge.

To my eyes, the playful pup and cub communicate with The Moon, singing to her and also singing her wisdom to the Earth. I thought about which other night creatures speak with Sister Moon. It is a time for wildness and the freedom to be who we have kept secluded within: a child of the Cosmos, we are in the presence of The Ancient Ones, Ancestors and Spirits of All That Is.

Song for The MOON: Sister Moon by Sting

Monday, May 24, 2010

Starlight, Starbright


"Good morning starshine,
The Earth says hello.
You twinkle above us,
We twinkle below."*

First impression: This is a peaceful card, where silence allows the sound of the flowing water and those things that go unheard in the hustle and bustle of life.

Image: Here is a beautiful Spring landscape, lit by the stars; one, BIG and bright with 8 point, and seven smaller ones circling the big one, also each with 8 points (wheel of the year?). Below, upon the surface of the Earth, is the landscape of the newness of spring; lush green grass with stark snow covered mountains in the distance. Center stage is a young woman, kneeling upon the bank of a lake, one foot in the water, and in each hand is held a bowl. One is blue, while the other is transparent. Our young maiden pours water out of each, the right flowing out into the lake, while flows out upon the land, making five streams of the liquid, wandering off in different directions. There is part of a tree seen off to the gir's left, its branches dotted with the first buds of the season (or maybe xmas lights?). A bird is seen landing upon one branch.

At first I am not sure I understand what I am feeling/seeing. It is like the silence in the aftermath of something torrential. This is the first time, I think, that I have, without prompting, connected any of the cards together. But here is the comparative stillness which comes at the end of something dramatic. There is not only the calm before the storm, but also after it. Both brings its own kind of expectation. In this case this is the beginning of things coming back into focus, back to order.

With the release of light, just before (from The Tower), there is quiet, gentle light, a slow growing illumination. Thus, after destruction there is a returning of the light; a sense of not knowing, yet, how things will take shape, yet waiting for any development.

This is the time of the glimmer of the new things upon the horizon.

Keywords for The Star: calmness, new beginnings, stillness, fertile ground in which things can take shape. Hope. Relaxed, open minded. Healing and regeneration.

*Song for THE STAR: Good morning starshine from the musical HAIR

Friday, May 21, 2010

Crash! Boom! Bam!


*"I see the bad moon arising
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightning
I see bad times today...

...I hear hurricane's ablowin'
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers overflowin'
I hear the voice of rage and ruin."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Desperation swarms over me, pushing my legs into a run, down and away. It's coming. I can hear it! A roaring, cavernous echoes mingling with screams of men, women and children. I've got to get away! Looking at doors as I skid past, frantically jiggling knobs. Open, I yell. Open, come on! But nothing gives. Across the way, I see someone fling open a door and disappear inside. It's a tall round tower, like a lighthouse, and I rush over there, shouldering my way into a dimly lit corridor. Stairs rise before me, and I climb, scampering up toward safety.

The building shudders and I feel the vibration of the unseen calamity which has assaulted the upper floors. But I go up, even still, because the flood of raging water I'd been running from is flowing in through the open doorway. I hear the thunderous claps that follow lightning above, and yet I climb higher. My mind settles for the unknown chances of what awaits me above, rather than be sucked into the torrent of tidal waves which are engulfing the landscape outside.

Through the small windows which appear around corners in this never-ending stairway, I see large meteor like boulders slam toward the earth. Reaching what I think is the top, I see flames lapping at the cinderblocks, and above that the roiling clouds parting momentarily for the molten finger of lightning which lights up the night and my eyes take in a horror I would not want to see. I can't stop myself from following suit, those who have clamored up, only to glide out into thin air, and free fall back down.

Briefly as I stand poised upon the edge my mind flashes on a scene from a movie. Two men standing on the precipice of a cliff (fools perhaps?). One says to the other, "I can't swim." and the other laughs. "you crazy! The fall will kill you."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Tower represents issues that involve catastrophic change, no way to turn back, or change what is coming. Outside events tear apart our sanctuary; devastation, point of no return, and Nature's wrath. But it also is about personal, psychological, emotional and spiritual crises that can leave a person broken, unable to see a way to move on, to rise from the ashes of what has been destroyed.

I'm reminded of a story. A young woman, during World War II lost her family, friends, her home and all of her belongings during the bombing of her city. Her life has been taken completely away in everyway but physically.

At this turning point, she can actually do anything, go anywhere she wants, and, in fact, she does leave and travels to a far off land where she enters a Buddhist Monastery (the first woman to ever be allow to become a student) From the ashes of the irrevocable change came a gift of Spirit.

Within any moment of devastation there is the aftermath: THAT is where the change really takes place. How we respond/react, makes all the difference in the world and in our lives.

I've also heard that the New Beginnings and even other 'upsides' are such things as an epiphany or astounding insights. Though it is a bit difficult to SEE that in the picture. If the reading is done intuitively, I wouldn't actually pick that up from the image, though, having been told it, I would remember that was included in the possible meanings. MUCH to think about. The important thing to remember is that all cards should be read with the question in mind, unless you're simply doing a generalized reading...?

Song for THE TOWER: Bad Moon A Risin' by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Major Arcana 2nd Level Review

Marjor Arcana
Second Level Reading


1. What have I learned from the 2nd level cards?
2. where does my strength reside?
3. What areas need more work?
4. What do I understand most?
5. What puzzles me most?
6. How can I improve my studies?
7. Who is my greatest teacher?



Significator = The Seeker

Card 1 = Death
I've learned about change and transformation and I have learned to pay attention to and follow signs.

Card 2 = Justice
My strength resides in seeking to keep balance between right and wrong due to my concern with 'doing the right thing.' Spiritual Justice rules my drive, and my actions.

Card 3 = Strength
My Strength or more importantly, my belief in my strength, need more work. I need to see and understand emotionally that strength is not just of a physical nature. Just because I am small and I feel weak and small,(in many ways, not just physically) does not mean I am not strong in spirit. Believe in Self.

Card 4 = Temperance
Because my life literally depends on moderation, i have learned and 'mastered' Temperance.

Card 5 = The Hanged Man
Because I still live with uncertainty and fear - bound by these emotions - I cannot imagine HOW to live any other way - yet.

Card 6 = The Hermit
Dedication and working without distraction (being solitary) will improve my work the most. The lesson of the day (in the morning, I lost access to my blogs and was plunged into an abyss of despair, and thought my work within a 'community' would end because I had lost my tools - you had to be there.) shows that reliance on and belief in myself will take me further than all else, because I can still go on. It is easy to forget that the reason the cards have come into my life as Teacher, is that I have always been shown (signs) that the answers and the journey to enlightenment lie within myself.

Card 7 = Wheel of Fortune
The immediate situation of the day brought The Wheel Of Fortune to the front of the class as my greatest teacher. Through acceptance of where and who I am in each moment, enhanced with the understanding that nothing stays the same, all else falls into place. Do not cling to any emotions of the day - even when they are good; feel them, live them in the moment, learn from them and then move on. Go with the flow!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

That Smell


"Angel of darnkess is upon you
stuck a needle in your arm
so take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink, fool, would drown you...

...Now they call you Prince charming,
Can't speak a word when you're full of ludes
Say you'll be alright come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you!

Oooo oooo that smell, can't you smell that smell?"*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heading toward the mountains, I wandered off the trail onto the grass; soft, cool, sweet smelling. I heard myself sigh. I knew somewhere back in the dawn of my life, before my current circumstances, I had felt a bliss similar to this, though I could not recall, now, from what source it had come. I was content, satisfied. I wasn't yearning any longer. That was different. A memory floated by in a bubble. It was another time, another place, when and where I'd dwelt in this feeling. I felt oddly light, and ran across the carpet of the plush lawn. In fact, I danced, pulling my flute out and playing a happy tune. Finally, I dropped to the soft green sod, resting there, just reveling in this wonderful freedom. I might have felt... yes, definitely felt invincible. Had I passed all of the tests? Would I rest forever in this paradise?

Rolling over on my side, I saw I was near the first outcropping of rocks which led up to the mountains. Sitting up, I saw what looked oddly like steps, leading down into a ... gully? Rising, I walked to where the steps began and was astonished to see they ended at a doorway. Glittering in the grass just by the staircase, I saw a crystal. I picked it up, and saw another, upon the first step, and then a third crystal and a fourth, as I descended to the entryway. By the time I reached the opening, I had collected a handful of beautiful stones! I saw one more actually, stuck in the doorjamb, keeping the entryway from being completely closed, and possibly sealed. What treasure must be inside, I wondered, and pushed against the barrier. It moved easily, and I stepped inside. Darkness descended. I stood still, letting my eyes adjust. I could make out that I was in a long, narrow corridor. It reminded me of a vision I'd once had, where skeletons hung on either side of the hall, all victims of their own avarice.

Somewhere ahead, I heard whispers and saw a faint glitter reflecting off the light coming in from the door behind me. I walked forward, toward the voices. As I crept closer, I could hear the voice more clearly. There were two voices, though they did not seem to be speaking with each other. It was more like each was muttering, sometimes groaning, and other times whimpering.

What on earth? I thought. I held up a small lantern which I pulled from my pack. What I saw was certainly odd, to say the least. A man and woman, both unclad, neither noticing the other, but both grappling with a treasure chest, overflowing with all manner of jewels and riches. The two were clawing at bits and pieces of the treasure. From where I stood, I could see that the chest was chained to the wall, though the two people were not. But for all intents and purposes they acted as if they were.

I saw a terribly familiar desperation in their eyes; the wanting and needing of the enslaved, held captive by their own greed. The young man stopped momentarily, staring down at the open door, reaching out toward it, his expression showing a forgotten moment from another time. The moment, however, passed too quickly and he was back caressing the jewels, and at times the chain, both with the same passion, as if he could no longer tell the difference between the two.

A chill passed through the tunnel of this underground tomb. I threw the crystals down, scattering them among a collection of the bounty from the chest, and turned and ran back to the door, up the stairs, and fell down to the ground, shivering still.

The contrast between the sense of freedom out here, and the utter bondage inside left me shaking. It had been a close call. I wasn't as far removed from my old ways, wants, and subjugation as I'd foolishly thought. And I realized that all of my old tapes were not only just under the surface, but readily available to play me, much the same way the snake charmer plays the snake.

*Song for the devil: That Smell by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Monday, May 17, 2010

Just A Little Bit.


"When I look to the East I see sunrise
When I look to the East I see Light
With the Soft Golden Gift of the morning
I am breathing you in, now revived..."*

~ ~ ~

This part of the forest reminded me a great deal of a place I used to visit a lot. It had the exact layout of a path which wound through woods toward a waterfall. I was thinking about that when I saw another smaller trail veer off to my right. There would be a meadow, I thought, and stepped onto the footpath, following it, and I noticed the butterfly had taken that same way. I was struck by the thought that I'd really left my old life behind; was on an adventure of the sort I'd dreamt about.

Within a short while the trail opened into a meadow. The world brightened greatly, and the scene was breathtaking. Far across from where I stood were the mountains, hidden just below the zenith by a massive cloud cover. Rising up through the wedge of two peaks the sun was brilliant. A light breeze brought the sweet scent of wild flowers to me. Turning at a sound, I saw the most elegant of beings. He stood, one foot in a clear pool of water, the other foot on the smooth surface of rock. He was tall, slender and had the most amazing pair of gold wings rising up from his back. He wore a very simple, pure white robe. It took me a while to note that he was juggling what looked like three beautiful crystals of different colors. There was an odd familiarity about him. At this, he smiled, as if he knew what I'd been thinking. He reminded me very much of 'The Keeper Of The Garden' I'd met often in the Crystal Garden Of Healing.

Was that possible? Was the Garden actually real? Seeking to puzzle that out, my gaze went beyond him where a small rocky byway meandered across the meadow toward the mountains. The butterfly stopped for a few moments at a flower near him, just on shore from where he stood.

I felt refreshed just being here. Everything about it was open, friendly, warm, and sunny and most welcoming. Returning my gaze to him, I studied, from a distance, an emblem sewn to the front of his robe. It was a yellow square, within which was a triangle. I wondered what it might stand for. No sooner had the thought formed when another followed; it is the square of reality, and the trianle is Spirit. Together they mean 'Spirit in flesh' which is what we all are and that is LIFE itself.

Everything here spoke, to a great degree, of all the things which I'd been seeing and hearing about these past many weeks. Purity, Mastery, in this case of all the elements: fire, water, air and earth. This was another place of beginnings, as the rising sun implied and of new ways, and new landscapes to be explored.

I wondered in what way the knowledge had transmuted, because it was ever changing, and like the crumbs from the gingerbread house children, I was getting tidbits with each meeting; another piece of the puzzle.

What was this about? I sat down and just studied everything. It was simplicity itself. Nothing was overstated, which spoke of moderation. It was a middle road, and it was obvious that there were few twists and turns here. It was straight forward. There was a sense that within the very Temperance of this new path, the bits and pieces of each of my earlier meetings were contained here, within this auster world. It was about the penduluum slowing to a near standstill, where there was balance in all its perfection.

*song for Temperance: Calling All Directions by Elaine Silver

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Don't Fear The Reaper


"All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Season's don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind and sun and the rain
We can be like they are
Don't Fear The Reaper..."*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

'Illumination, it changes you,' I thought as I walked further into the forest. 'Everything changes you because everything is constantly changing. One thing comes, leaving the way for something to go. It's like cleaning house.'

I had not noticed that the woods had changed, and a clarity had replaced the mists. No sooner had I considered that, about some things heading out to pasture, when I came upon a fork in the road. In fact, my mind was so filled with the inner world of contemplation that I nearly walked right into... Looking up, I squinted at what I thought was possibly a dream or mirage. A figure stood, actually blocking my way. Dressed, head to toe, in a red hooded robe, even the face was hidden. In fact, there was a surreal sense that there was no face. Yet I knew this visage was looking at me. Eyes without a face? I flashed on a song from long ago, but just briefly. The drape of the robed arm was a cascade of flowing blood-red material. It? He? She? whatever, was pointing the way toward the left fork. As I stood uncomprehending, my eyes took in my surroundings. I was in a Birch forest, and the scent was earthy, but new. I could hear the sounds of a forest, all twitters, and buzzes, and ribbits and even the gurgling of a brook somewhere.

Though I could not see a hand, the other robed limb grasped what I thought might be a staff, until I saw it rising above this creature's left shoulder; a metalic and deep gray cloak marriage of pole and material. It was, in fact an immense flag, upon which sat a white rose, in full bloom, with green leaves peeking out from beneath the petals at odd angles.

A fluttering out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. A happily flitting butterfly danced just below the sleeve, heading in the same direction my 'Red Robin Hood' was recommending. Not that I had a specific destination, but I'd have just kept going straight. Still, I thought it wise to not test the waters of obstinacy and instead headed down the new trail.

Who was that red cloaked being?

I considered, that if the cloak had been black and the flag a sickle, I might have just had a close encounter with Death!

Song for Death: Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From the first steps of the journey, the transformation had begun. Each teacher brought me to a reflection, not so much of new information, but new perspectives on the knowledge kicking around inside my brain; different ways of viewing the world, myself, and ways in which I could manifest to a greater degree, the essential me.

Death is transformation, to the point where old layers begin to fall away, and a shining new outer being evolves from the ashes of the old, because the inner self is being nourished, attended and resides in the driver's seat of the vehicle.

My Earth Walk had become an intensive inner study, in ways I could never have imagined, though may possibly have glimpsed in those brief moments of ecstacy, in the give-away that the Sacred Dance of Life requires.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Both Sides Now


"I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still some how
It's Cloud illusions I recall,
I really don't know clouds at all."*

~ ~ ~

Having gained passage I come upon a thick forest. The trees, shrouded in mist, are massive and elegant. My footsteps are muffled as I wander among the giants. Every few steps I stop, breathe in the earthy scent and listen. Life is going on around me, and with limited sight, my hearing has become my guide. I marvel at the way that works. In the middle of my reverie, I hear a far away voice, "Psst." Another person is near-by. "Up here." Raising my eyes upward, I see a very strange sight; a young man is hanging upside down from the bough of a tree. He is not tied, only holding on by the sheer strength of his legs. I notice the limb is actually a connection between two trees, on either side of him.

His is certainly a strange morning exercise. It seems as if I've stepped into a world of circus acrobats. I am uncertain what to make of it all, though many things come to mind. There is a sense of balance, perhaps between two worlds, or even between the past and the present. That upon which he hangs seems to be bridging some place, or some time. He is literally suspended; frozen in time?

In this gray world, he stands out in his colorful raiment: bright red tight-like leggings, and a billowing white blouse. It takes strength and courage to hang on, I suspect, not to mention a purity of heart, to keep himself aloft. His blonde hair hangs down and were he upright, it would have seemed to be standing straight up on his head. His hands are clasped behind his back. I see no alarm in his expression, only determined concentration. He certainly is viewing things from another perspective.

Perhaps he practicing to be a vampire? Certainly, viewing the world from his position, is akin to seeing another side, or putting yourself in another's position.

Of course, hanged also implies sentenced, convicted and being punished. Yet, without the bonds, it might be self-inflicted. Being suspended thus, he might become stunted, mixed up, stalled, or perhaps he is just hanging around?

Remembering from where I'd just come, it occurrs to me that perhaps our 'hanged man' is being tested? Or having failed with Madam Justess this is what a person must suffer? It certainly is an awkard position.

My mind is in chaos trying to puzzle this out. One thing is for sure, he's seeing things from 'both sides now.'

*Song for the Hanged Man: Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

~ ~ ~

A few points of interest. I noted the triangles his legs and arms make, and considered it to mean triangular thinking, though, I missed Robin's meaning, which I should have picked up on: "a symbol of the first degree of Wicca."

Along with my own thoughts of this being a new perspective, it represents suspense (I like that), and change. Suspended from living trees also represents a "growing experience" from surrendering oneself to new attitudes. This is all about seeking to gain knowledge and wisdom. What I failed to actually notice was the halo of light surrounding his head.

Keywords: balance; bridging two worlds - changing; new perspective; non-conformity; strength; courage; purity of heart; (self)-sacrifice; surrender; serenity; exercising free will; liberation (of spirit); devotion; learning; growing; suspense.
(reversed) stuck, stalled, frozen in time; turned around; mixed up.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Rant for Justice


"He may, he may have a sentence for to serve
Turn turn turn again,
But ninety-nine years he just does not deserve,
Turn turn to the wind and the rain..."*

~ ~ ~

What a roller coaster ride, and I was glad to be off of it. Too many changes, too fast; the ups and downs, dizzying. My mind was filled with disjointed images and thoughts: rights and wrongs, whys and hows? Yes! and no! I felt torn by the confusion which colored every thought. I found myself flip flopping between feeling invincible, unbeatable and confident, when suddenly I'd slide into a whirlwind of worry and fear, and feeling as I'd done someone wrong somewhere.

Sorting through this chaotic line of thinking, I found myself seeking a place of stability. This grew as I continued upon a pathway. Glancing up, I saw a rather magnificent structure, not off to the side, but smack dab in the middle of the road. I could see a sign spanning the top of it. As I drew closer, the letters took shape: THE HALLS OF JUSTICE. A flashback to someother place beckoned the name, Mad Max.

All ceased when I stood before two gray granite pillars several steps above and blocking my passage. Seated upon a bench, was a figure. The impression I got was I had entered an exhibit of a wax museum. The figure was a young woman, dressed red robes, with a purple cape clasped in front by a small silver square of metal, a red gem set in the center of it. She wore a green ascot around her neck, caught, as well, in the clasp. I saw she was holding in her left hand, the hilt of a sword, with golden scales hanging from the ends of the hilt. In her other hand was a silver sword, pointing up toward the sky. Set upon her neatly quaffed hair was a wreath of green leaves, similar to the kind worn in the Roman Empire. I felt it was like an exhibit because this is a very quiet card.

For all the world, she seemed a guardian of the path which rose up behind her. This made me wonder: did the path to enlightenment require permission at this point to continue? Was I worthy to pass through these gates, to continue upon this journey? For the life of me, I could not imagine why this was here, and where was the Justice in that?

I said hello, testing the waters of reality. Was she real or memorex? My answer came as she nodded her head once, in greeting. I sighed with relief. I didn't have to ask, for I already knew I was expected. But for what? Since I'd left the Chariot, the journey had taken a decidedly abstract turn. With the exception of The Hermit, all of those I'd met represented different kinds of teachings. I was finding it harder to relate to, not to mention comprehend these last several lessons. No, that wasn't right. They are representations of ideas. I understood that. But now I had to think harder to comprehend how it applied specifically to me and to my moment in time. My mind insists on thinking of this as judgement, not justice, or are they one and the same. Doesn't Justice judge?

What is justice? This justice certainly isn't blind, like we often see in depictions of justice. And why would justice be blind anyway? To be fairminded? This lady looked fair minded enough. She would weigh our words objectively. Where upon this journey did Justice come into play?

Aha! This isn't about a separate adventure, removed from the like The Hermit has done. This is living in the world while at the same time seeking to live beautifully. It was harmonizing this and that part of life. So, what I did in that other, real world, would have an impact that would be heard around the world. Justice keeps us on the straight and narrow. BUT of whose design?

If I had created the world, would I have included justice? Would I have included judgement? Obvously I judge others; I did The Hierophant. How did Justice step in and work her magic? Justice MUST have a magic element. The Natural world has it's own sense of Justice... or is that just a man made notion?

I wanted to shake her... What do you want to tell me? What do you have to teach me? All's fair in love and war? What is one person's fair is another's injustice?

Is there a riddle here? Some test I have to pass? What's the password?

*Song for Justice: Percy's Song by Arlo Guthrie

Monday, May 10, 2010



In my work journal, I'd written down a description of this card, and actually wrote a whole rant about it... not quite sure yet what that was all about. SO, in the tradition of 'keeping things simple' as Occam's Razor postulates: Given a choice of of explanations, the simiplest is usually correct.

The simple Justice:

A quiet card, showing no emotion, or passion, to ensure all considerations are fair minded; Justice manifests true objectivity. Within the description of the image, red represents the courage to stand as an impartial witness, giving unbiased thoughts and balances with insightful wisdom.

The keywords can be found within the above.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Round and Round She Goes

Wheel Of Fortune

"The wheel in the sky keeps on turning
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow.
The wheel in the sky keeps me yearning..."*

~ ~ ~

I am nowhere. I am everywhere. I am on a giant wheel, walking around a yellow rim, passing segments; some with smiling faces, some with no emotion, and some the expression marred by possible misfortune. What does it all mean? How does it relate to the journeys of the past, and how will it lead to those of the future?

It is more like a piece of puzzle from a picture not of this pilgrimage. I feel confused, mystified, uncertain what to think, how to figure it out.

The title seems too obvious: WHEEL OF FORTUNE. Is life that much of a crap shoot? Do we bounce mindlessly around within our emotions, depending on events? Or could it mean that even while we grow, the things of life continue to come to us, and with learning, we can change, not the situation, but our reaction to it, learning to control the emotions? Perhaps, as in life, we are faced with many possible reactions. Until we learn more about ourselves, we are stuck within the confines of the wheel, allowing events to control us. Is this the station where we get off and see how we've done so far, and learn that the landscape of life keeps spinning and changing because we're changing at every turn? What happens when we evolve? Can we then determine how we react to any given moment?

I have to say this is a confusing card. But within a reading, IF someone did reversals, it would make more sense... or if it crossed another card, even then, it might have greater meaning. Otherwise, it's just about 'how lucky do you feel right now?' and has the appearance of the roulette wheel, with the little silver orb zooming ever on, with no surcease.

Does it say we have no choice of the events of our life, and we'll run the gamut from the most fabulous moments to the most devastating, and all that are between them? Is there a cycle... one day we're up, the next we're heading into a downward spiral, but even that will change, and we'll be riding up toward better possibilities.

I feel as if there is nothing to grasp onto, because the wheel is forever turning (say it with me... The Wheel of the Year?), and we can't really say, 'stop the world, I want to get off." can we? Is this all about simple luck of the draw? or about making a concerted effort to control how life effects us?

~ ~ ~

Here is a wheel divided into segments, each holding an image of a woman signifying 8 different possible emotions - dictated by events which range from great success to unimaginable failure. Each slice of this pie is a different color. In the upright position, the top shows a yellow wedge (trivial pursuit anyone?), with a woman wearing a yellow dress, pictured inside, arms raised in victory, stars behind her, more like fireworks than anything.

Moving clockwise, we come to the next piece which is green, holding what appears to be the same woman, dressed in white, with a green ribbing at neckline, to match her segment, a smile on her face. She's not exstatic, like contestant number one, but is probably on Happy Street.

Another step clockwise and we're in a lesser green (almost teal) division, and our lady is showing little emotion. Her dress is a sort of mauve and her ribbing is that of the color of the realm in which she stands.

Approaching the fourth sector, we find a mightly dishevilled, quite saddened girl, her dress a medium to dark gray, with the blue ribbing of her background. She got de blues.

Leaving our sad sack behind, we find, a dark indigo dimension. Hands covering this gal's face, her sobs can almost be heard. Her dress is black, ribbed with the deep purple. This is the polar opposite of Lady sunshine in 1st place.

Hurrying on, (for she would otherwise draw one into her miserable world, and we'd be stuck in a bereft bog) there is a bit of light, and less gloom and doom here, thouigh it's clear that this is no laughing matter as, again, we are faced with the young woman who dwells in Sadville. Her dress has taken on a less drab and dull color with a violet ribbing.

What is this? I'm seeing red? Yes, definitely red, yet our heroine is now cautiously holding onto that emotionless epxression of the Teal of the wheel. Oddly, her dress looks light gray, as opposed to the mauve of her twin... how perception changes depending on where we've come from.

Another step and I almost expect to see jack-o-lanterns, in this autumn orange space. Our lass is smiling again, and clothed in white with an orange ribbing. Her smile seems more like that of expectation of winning as opposed to the young Isle of Green Goddess, who gives the sense, 'That was fun.'

Coming full circle I think of the color wheel, and with the exception of the teal, I've just traversed a rainbow. Like that roulette wheel, there is constant movement here... round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows. It seems that this place is out of this world OF maybe completely inside ourselves... the background shows only a dark blue, starless landscape.

~ ~ ~

Keywords for The Wheel Of Fortune:

Luck, movement, beginnings and/or endings, emotional changes, fortune, destiny. The author also sees Roller Coaster Ride manifesting and since I can see that, I'll go for it. I like that she points out that the secret to the card is that if we don't get invested in any one place, neither the highs nor the lows, that everything changes, you can keep your balance.

Song for Wheel Of Fortune is "Wheel In The Sky" by Journey

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Solitary Man

Number 9, number 9, number 9

"High on this mountain
The clouds down below
I'm feeling so strong and alive
From this rocky perch
I'll continue to search
For the wind, and the snow, and the sky"*

~ ~ ~

An eternity of walking, which at first seemed a simple jaunt through a forest glen, now became a serious journey. The path turned ever upward, my companion, the songs of the birds, the whisper of the wind sending the leaves into a merry dance. Alone again, I thought, and found peace within the solitude; time to consider those with whom I had chance to meet of late. I barely remembered the 'fool on the hill' and the plaintive yips of the young pup.

Emerging from a wooded tunnel, I found the peaks, stark sentinels against the deepest blue of the sky, closer than I realized. Gazing down, I saw footsteps etched upon the muddy path. Without a thought, I followed them, wondering if they were crumbs left by children from gingerbread houses, leading me home. The way turned into a dark forest path, and the chill of the mountains settled upon me, and I almost turned back, when I spied a glow of light ahead; a sort of flickering.

Reaching the end of the trail, I found that the jagged plane of the mountains closed in. Looking up, I spied the source of the light. Still way above me, a tattered elder man stood, holding a lantern, gazing down at me, it seemed. Was he thinking I was someone else? Yet, instinctively, I knew, as it had been with most of the others, he awaited my approach. But why so isolated, I pondered, huffing and puffing as I climbed up to meet him.

He stood at a cliff's edge, the lantern held aloft, seeming to draw the moonlight into itself, a lighthouse of the cosmos, it seemed, as eight beams lit out at various angles.

Drawing closer, I suddenly felt how golden silence was; why hallowed halls created the need for it, otherwise we'd miss the voice of the Universe. I saw a wisp of a smile turn up this hermit's lips. From the length of his beard, I gathered he'd lived here for ages. Slowly he turned, and walked back along a narrow byway toward a small cabin. The tap of his staff against the rocky lane echoed. However did I get here, I wondered? And why?

Inside the small one room hut, we sat before a warming fire, and sipped honey sweetened tea. And I waited to hear his words. His voice was soft. "You were not off when you were reminded of another moment when you stood at a precipice." He smiled, a distinct twinkle in his wise old eyes. Had he read my mind? "We were quite the fool," he continued. We? I was about to dismiss this statement, when I saw within his face something oddly familiar. It was the face, yet lined with age, I had looked at quite often when ever I had chance to catch my own reflection in the placid water of a pond.

Drowsed by the warmth and tea, I found myself unable to keep my eyes open and slipped into a slumber. How long I'd been asleep, I could not tell, when I was awakened by a sound. Back on a plush carpet of grass, the sweet scent of spring flowers filled me up. Yet the strange dream of having reached heights and meeting myself eons from now was still vivid in my mind. There was much to think about.

~ ~ ~

There is a great stillness in the image Robin Wood has given to us in the Number 9 card, THE HERMIT. It is a hallowed place - no unnecessary noise. There is an austerity and starkness, especially in comparison with where the journey has led up to this point. It might be night. The central figure is an elderly man, dressed in tattered gray and blue robes, standing at the edge of a cliff (The Fool revisited?), holding a staff in his left hand, with a single red feather attached to it. He holds a lantern in his right hand and he is gazing down the road he has traversed. The lantern has 8 beams (representing the wheel of the year) of light radiating from it. There is an orb behind the lantern; perhaps the moon, giving the impression that the lantern contains the light and mystery of moonlight, which alternately, itself, contains the light of the sun, transmuting the energies from seen to unseen, known to unknown; The Hermit holds the secrets of the Cosmos.

The high peaks of the North surround The Hermit, showing that his inner work has brought him to the realms of the greatest Enlightenment.

He has no need of the 'things' of life - the distractions which lead one from their path. He has mastered all that is necessary through dogged determination and daring to go within to the place where all the answers to life and the Universe reside. As he stands looking down upon the road traveled, he is a beacon of light to those upon the same path, and a guardian of the wisdom gained within the journey.

The red of his shoes and the feather in his staff shows the courage of one who dares to look within of his own accord, to face the darkest hours of his soul; done with endurance and the purity of heart to which the whiteness of his beard attests.

The Hermit manifests the epitome of our potential; ascending to outstanding heights of wisdom, growth, and learning, through solitary contemplation and meditation.

Keywords for The Hermit:

solitude, spiritual focus, the search for Truth, teaching, potential, contemplation, meditation, courage, strength, endurance, purity of heart, wisdom, balanced, determination, mastery, transmutation, good council, achievement, enlightenment

*Song of THE HERMIT: Netherlands by Dan Fogelberg

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Strength Insights and Keywords


There is a palpable exchange of power. Her love for this lion reaches inside of him, visibly calming him. It is as if he is at an oasis in the desert, drinking up the sweet energy which radiates from her.

Her fearlessness and purity of heart brought a gentleness to this great predator; allowing it to, perhaps, return to the innocence of the cub from which he grew. Here is a statement of how love, tempered with courage, understanding and confidence is a catalyst which manifests kinship between opposing forces where gentle strength of spirit transforms innate brutishness into acquiescence.


opposing forces and peaceful resolutions
purity of heart,
power exchange,
return to innocence
strength of spirit,

Monday, May 3, 2010


Over the past week I have been thinking about what it would be like to do a reading. I've been working on meeting my cards, one at a time; spending time with each and journaling about it on several levels: first impressions, Insights and Keywords, and supportive information from several sources. This is the coure I decided to choose for learning how I'd study the basics.

On April 28, I met The Chariot, which according to a passage in Rachel Pollack's book, "Tarot Wisdom," is the last of the First Level trumps. I liked how she described how the journey was split into 3 levels. Having reached this place in my work, I considered, as was suggested, to review what I'd been taught by these first 8 cards of the deck. As I work, I've also been reading about spreads, and the endless possible ways or doing a reading. Right from the start, I was creating my own course, while taking what I felt would enhance my work from the authors of many Tarot books, as well as from the many wonderful members of AT.

While I originally thought I might actually begin with a simple 3 card spread, I also came across a few interestingly creative spreads at the forum. As happened with my first moments after stepping over the threshold of this Path, I had no idea how or what I'd do until I got there.

I knew the actual question, because it was recommended in "Tarot Wisdom," but I also realized that there is often more to a spread than simply throwing down three cards in succession. Each position in the spread, I learned, often carries its own question.

I thought about the fact that I would be working with 8 cards. BUT, I also decided that I'd make #0 the significator - because I was the querent, and I have considered this part of my journey to be my own 'Seeker's Journey.' That gave me seven of the original eight to consider when deciding on the structure of the spread.

This was completely intuitive. I have not looked at many spreads so do not know about other seven card spreads. I wrote down seven questions, based on the original idea of 'What have I learned from these seven cards' with the recommended review of Level 1 as its foundation. With the questions before me I began to picture how the spread would look. Finally, I had it in my head, but it wasn't until I laid the cards upon the table that I actually really SAW it. It felt so right I was quite pleasantly surprised as well as pleased with the result.

Using the forum mapping, hopefully this will come out the way it ended up on the table:

Seven Card Spread plus Significator


I wasn't sure to show in the diagram that the significator was under Card 7.

I placed the Seeker (0) card in the center of the table, and then placed the 1 and 2 positions on either side, but spaced out so the cards above and below would line up (as seen above). Why I placed card 3 where I did, seemed logical, and keeping a symatry, I placed card 4 diagonally opposite it on the bottom row, which led to card 5 being on the top row on the other side of the significator, and like wise, card six taking its place in the bottom row diagonally opposite 5 on the bottom row. This left card seven to lay upon the significator.

The questions for each card follow:

1. What have I learned from my work with these cards?
2. Where does my strength reside?
3. What areas need more work?
4. What do I understand most?
5. What puzzles me most?
6. How can I improve my studies?
7. Who is my greatest teacher?

The actual reading follows:

1. Hierophant I have learned the importance of following tradition and the 'rules' which are associated with the original Way of Tarot, as I begin my journey.

2. High Priestess My strength resides in my intuition.

3. The Lovers I need to learn to integrate myself more, and be balanced through harmony of all the parts of myself.

4. The Magician I understand the need to master the basics first, balancing the outward knowledge with my intuitive sense.

5. The Empress Here I had to think about why The Empress would puzzle me, but the reality is that I tend not to be in touch with the feminine aspect within myself, and push it away, and yet, I felt very comfortable meeting this card. This allowed me to acknowledge that there is great power in being 'The Mother' and the recognition as well as acceptance of that part of myself.

6. The Emperor Practice makes perfect, and to continue with my plan to follow the traditional route during this period, before stepping outside the box.

7. The Chariot That I have maintained a deep and abiding interest in my studies, and am ever progressing, moving toward my goals.

*will try to make an actual jpg of how the layout looked.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Return To Innocence


"Love, emotion
Feelings, emotion.
Don't be afraid to be weak,
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart, my friend,
That will be the return to yourself,
The Return to Innocence."*

~ ~ ~

Heading into the unconscious, flying across the universe in Chariot to a destination I know not where. So many visions dancing in my head, seeking to understand lessons learned, and wondering at those still to be worked through. There is always more to look at inside, where the wild dogs run howling in the night.

Mountain peaks appear, capped with a beautiful blanket of snow. We are gliding downward, toward a plush carpet of rolling lawns. As we set down, I notice a young woman sitting on the grass and see a magnificent lion prowling toward her. Standing mesmerized by the scene, I did not hear the Chariot lift up and disappear beyond the mountains. I feel what I am witnessing can not end well for this maiden. She is a lovely young woman, wearing a flowing white gown with a breast plate of armor, made of silver and trimmed with gold. I notice a resplendent bouquet of flowers in her lap. Upon her head she wears a wreath of beautiful wild flowers as well; white, and purple, and small sprays of wispy white delicate buds. The lion walks toward her; an imposing beast, full of power. Surprisingly, the maid beckons for the lion to come to her, and I can see his mighty jaws are parted, and can almost hear a guttural growl. When he is standing before her, she holds her hand out to him, letting him learn her scent, and then she reaches up with her other hand, her fingers dancing lightly on his silky mane. Ever so slowly her hand comes to rest upon his head.

There was a palpable exchange of power. Her love for this lion reaches inside of him, visibly calming him, so she is able to slide her other hand beneath his chin and with a tender touch, closes his jaws. I am stunned, seeing them like this, his bulk resting nearly upon her, as if he is at an oasis in the desert, drinking up the sweet energy which radiates from her.

Her fearlessness and purity of heart brought a gentleness to this great predator; allowing it to, perhaps, return to the innocence of the cub from which he grew. I hear a distinct purring. Here is a statement of how love, tempered with courage, understanding and confidence is a catalyst which manifests kinship between opposing forces where gentle strength of spirit transforms innate brutishness into acquiescence.

*Song for Strength: The Return To Innocence by Enigma