Thursday, December 30, 2010

Face Your Fear!


With a lot of turmoil surrounding me lately, I've been finding the old phobic fear returns with greater frequence; disaster thinking has become a wild horse; the bull in the china shop of my mind. Thus, I shuffled with the request that the cards 'pleae advise me how to battle the fear.' What I needed was a reminder of how to get back with my panic management program.

THEME: King of Swords

What a happy sight. The first course of action... the theme is always to 'turn and face' my fears, and so the king brings this very message to me. The arena of fear is in the realm of thought, so that is where I must make/take my stand.

GUIDE: Six of Cups

First thought: Give myself a break. The fear mongers are of my creation, thus I can go back to the time beffore they were born, and reinvent my life, and my world without the phobic fear. Think positively about that which the fears seek to trick me into believing. Uncreate what I have crated. Rewrite this part of the story.

MEDITATION: Knight of Pentacles

Another happy sight. So tried and true, and stable in his approach, the knight speaks of the fact that the mind is fertile ground. Pull up the weeds [that are the work of fear] and sow the seeds of positive thinking. Before planting my seeds, however, meditate and envision what I want to grow, then work hard [take care of myself] to see the crop of positivity begin to sprout, and finally grow into the flowers of good health, and the fruits of healing.

SHADOW CARD: Six of Swords

The foundation is now built upon succeeding in my current circumstance. This is a challenge, and it will be a difficult road to walk, because life does not stop while I am gathering my reserves.


Face my fears and stand my ground. Don't be so hard on myself and recreate my life without the phobic aspect of fear. Plant the seeds of positive thinking and envision success. All struggles are a rite of passage.

Saturday, December 25, 2010


With the thought that I know we will have to move to the apple orchard at some point, I posed the question of how soon should we move over there?

THEME: Wheel of Fortune

Considering the question, it looks like it will depend on when I FEEL we should, when I feel it is necessary. It will be a matter first of all, of how quickly we can get the place ready for us. It will also depend upon the information we get from the doctor about 'Staging.'

GUIDE: Six of Cups

Giving time, in my usual way, may suffice for now. Everything is based on need. Balance the decision between need for it, and the reality of how much more difficult it will be when the real winter weather sets in. Everything takes time. Be mindful of all aspects.

MEDITATION: The Hermit [I actually saw this card coming up]

Take time to sit and consider what is BEST. Think about all the aspects of the situation. To make a decision based on reality, there needs to be all pertinent information available.

SHADOW CARD: Eight of Wands

Remember that great energy reserves will be needed for the duration. What will be the best for all, but most important is what will allow the caregiver to be able to function at optimum throughout this time.


With information as guide, I will know when it FEELS right to move. Watch for signs from all factions and seek what is realistic and think it out carefully. Take it one day at a time. Remember, how much energy will be needed for everything.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Be Here Now


THEME: Queen of Wands

Put my best face forward. Don't be or seem over zealous, nor too dour. Keep incidentals light. Be welcoming, warm, passionate, generoug with praise especially. While being energetic, be also practical. Be nurturing, not fixing.

GUIDE: The Lovers

Be loving and supportive. Use my intuition to take the steps needed to make a house a home. Create balance.

MEDITATION: Three of Swords

While the meaning of the situation is heartbreaking, especially for my father, as well as for me, seek to live in the moment not in the future where the outcome is. Creat a normal atmosphere. Threat him normally, not like an invalid.

SHADOW CARD: The Magician

Create a magical atmosphere. Deal only with what is currently known, and strive for master of the moment, not of what lies ahead.


Maintain a normal aire. Bring love and balance to each moment. Even knowing this situation will be heartbreaking, live in the now not in the then. Bring magic to the moment.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Daily Draw


Thinking about why I don't always follow thru with plans for inner work.

THEME: The Moon

The hidden things which are camophlaged by the seen and by the darkness, are those which might be where the answer lies. There are many aspects in all of us. We are as wild as we are tame. Integration is part of the resolutioin, but integration also means giving voice to all parts; it does not mean elimination of any aspect - just the harmonious blending of all. The ripples of my actions speak of the inner realm. Look within. Understand the things I find there. Use my journal to sort through what I find. As without, so within. Can work be done in a cluttered house? If all is needed, then seek balance.

GUIDE: Six of Cups

Give yourself a 'break.' Don't be so hard on yourself. Seek also to make friends within. Find where things are at odds and strive to resolve differences. Make the inner world a happy home.

MEDITATION: Three of Pentacles

There is work to be done inside, before the inner work can successfully begin. Pay close attention to the details of the inner structure, and work to bring things to the order needed to accomplish my inner work. Mastery of the self is the key and the roadmap.

SHADOW CARD: Ten of Swords

Don't want to sabotage your work? Then don't stab yourself in the back. Find the CENTER. It isn't the 'others' which cause the block, but the voice which chides, complains, and wastes precious time. It is time to make a new beginning. End the strife, and live your life.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Peaceful Kingdom To The Rescue


I began shuffling with the question, 'what would help me manifest my dedication to my path more concisely?'

THEME: Nine of Pentacles

This is a day for appreciating what I have that I worked to manifest. Look at my life and see the goodness I have created for myself and for others. Today I celebrate myself.

GUIDE: Queen of Pentacles

Meditation of the specifics which I would like to bring into my life for greater abundance, is an important part of the process of manifesting. Find the stillness within. This is the place where that which I seek will become more apparent. Give time to myself for contemplation of my inner work.

MEDITATION: Four of Pentacles

Note what I cling to and reflect upon how it helps or hinders my work and progress. Is each thing something which I should retain? What quality causes me to let go of things which might help me, and conversely, to hold onto things which hinder my way?

SHADOW CARD: Knight of Pentacles

To move forward and live more beautifully, begin from the stillness. Stop or pause before taking action. Consider ways which will achieve the greatest inner growth and success.


Today I celebrate my life, and its goodness. Consider taking time to sit and reflect the things I must do to achieve my goals. Meditate upon the things to which I cling and why. To move forward do so from stillness; from my Center.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Way of Transmutation


THEME: Three of Pentacles

The way of mastery is to learn, but what is learned needs to be put into action. Move slowly, thoughtfully, and with great focus in each thing being done. Mindfulness is key. Become that which I am doing.

GUIDE: Page of Wands

I am reminded to begin (or continue) to truly learn about energy... to feel how energy manifests in every way. Observe where it is in my every movement, and feel it as well as just seeing it manifesting. Note its highs and lows [fluctuations], and begin to see what affects it, and what it affects and in what ways.


Consider the relationships of the elements and how they work together. Find the center of each moment when everything is in perfect balance.

SHADOW CARD: King of Wands

Control is one aspect of centering. Conservation and creation are others. Seek to find the sequences and the variations.


See the process of work and observing is part, but being is the other part. Seek balance between control and conservation, as well as creation. Be moderate.

Thinking, and feeling, and doing simply lead to BEING which is the goal.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Components of a Quest


I shuffled this morning with the thought about 'how will the Quest play out' and consequently, thinking about how to create a spread to make the moves in each day of the Quest. Do I need to? Why do I need to... which of course are all questions simply for a reading. But the first part is where my head was at while shuffling. Thus, the following cards speak to me.

THEME: Knight of Cups

The way to proceed in each day is to go with an open heart and an open mind. This is something I already seek within the time of readings. Bring this to my every moment, in every day. Begin as if each day and each moment is a new day and moment, but instead of seeing it as a matter of 'with no mistakes in it,' see it simply as a new day/moment for fresh perspectives, and for receiving information and life's events with an open mind and an open heart. Seek to accept each experience, and learn from each one.

GUIDE: The Hanged Man

This is an agreement of the theme. See things from each side; from all sides. Keep a record of the various perspectives. This will be, and in fact, is part of the journey AND the journal.


Balance and comradery - sharing the journey and my thoughts with my companions in this Quest (Alex, Dad, Journals). The Process needs witnessing

SHADOW CARD: Page of Cups

I see the young lass is insisting upon being part of this, and I've considered the message she is seeking to bring to me, and decided that she actually IS me (represents me), at least in part. I am the reason; the foundation for the Quest. This will play out because of me and all aspects will be MY creation. Perhaps, she is little girl lost?


Move forth with an open mind and an open heart. See all moments from different perspectives. Maintain balance and share with travel companions. This is founded on me and finding that inner Self is where the Paradigm Passage is. Thus, this is a search for Self. Interesting.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Good Vibrations


My thought while shuffling was "Bring me guidance for today."

THEME: King of Cups

Seek to calm myself in the midst of chaos. Enhance my inner calm, as the quote goes. Let love guide me through the moments of the day.

GUIDE: Four of Wands

Seek to be centered in the dance of life today. Stop, close my eyes, and follow my breath to bring myself back to the moment. Seek to look at times as good, and to be bulstered by what I have now, not to go astray into the land of what I have lost or fear I will lose.

MEDITATION: Six of Wands

Each moment should be a celebration of life, of the abundance I have here and now. Move forward with joy in my heart for this is what has made this moment possible.

SHADOW CARD: Ten of Cups

Even in the hard times remember what goodness I have. The connections are what allow love to flow.


Emotional Energy rules the day. The cups best emotions surround the wands celebratory energy. Make the day a party. In sequence: The King of Cups begins (the first and best of the Emotional Realm). At the other end is the Ten of Cups, the best of the suit; completeness, all that is great in this realm. The Sandwich filling is the four of wands and the six of wands. These two wands equal 10, which lead up to the 10 of Cups... The equation is the Energy of Love.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Round and Round She Goes


While shuffling, I was seeking to look at how I could more effectively control my negative emotions.

THEME: Justice

Be fair minded in relating to others. Remain balanced.

GUIDE: Page of Cups

Another visit from the Page (daughter) of Cups. Be in the moment. Live in the here and now. Release ego-past and don't live in ego-future. If negative emotions rise to the surface at 'inappropriate times' seek to keep the feelings in check, and find ways to release them later.

MEDITATION: King of Swords

Don't confuse thought with emotion. Don't let too much build up. Learn about strategy and negotiations. This is the best way to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground, and in the here and now.

SHADOW CARD: Wheel of Fortune

The foundation of the reading. As always, I stand upon the wheel, slipping and sliding through various emotions. The key is not to cling to any one of them. Experience it, learn from what it brings me, and let it go (aka move along). Intellectually, I may say something is over, but I carry it with me, unnoticed, my mind going back and gnawing on it like a dog with a bone. Don't try to be right, or I'll end up being wrong.


The wheel turns and surviving it is about not clinging to any one feeling. Be fairminded instead of seeking to be right. Learn negotiation and strategy. Live in the now, not in the then.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Daily Draw Reflection


With all the 'goings on' here, I shuffled thinking about what I needed to do for myself, because all my time and energy is going toward helping all the others around me.

THEME: The Hermit

With the circumstances of my life right now, The Hermit recommends I need time for myself. Find a place of peace and quiet and seek to clear my mind of mundane thoughts. While work must be done, it will be important to step back between those moments of activity and dwell in the place of sweet solitude, where the silence of the mountain top retreat allows the layers of disquiet to be stripped away. Sort of the Calgon of the Spiritual Set.

GUIDE: The World

I am guided to see that I need not head off to a cloister somewhere for this peace and serenity, because anywhere and everywhere a 'retreat' can be created. Don't be confined by traditional ideas. Find my oasis in places in which I feel peace, free, calm and happy; where my thoughts are unemcumbered by activities of daily living and can fly beyond the clouds.

MEDITATION: Knight of Wands

This about Energy Conservation. Now, about 10 hours after laying out these cards, it occurs to me how appropo it is, which I learned after I 'blew my top' at someone who doesn't need that right now, being as their infirm. But more importantly, I don't need to do that to myself either. So, it's up in the air, right now what my meditation should be, but it did get me thinking... which is a first step.

SHADOW CARD: Four of Swords

The foundation is rest, recovery, and rejuvination, which comes back into my reading from a personal reading I'd done on December 5.


Go within to the place where solitude and peace and quiet reign. The place, physically, is less important, if I can go within, perhaps on a jaunt to Jesseville, and rest and relax. A little music, some good visuals, and I'm floating away from all of this that weighs too heavily upon my mind and shoulders.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Go To The Mattresses!

What to do to become more healthy

THEME: Seven of Wands

In the effort to become more healthy (to lose weight), the theme is to fight for my health. Burn more calories than I'm taking in. Defeat the lazy habit and work hard. The gauntlet has been laid down. Pick it up and FIGHT! Make it part of my QUEST!

GUIDE: Eight of Swords

I feel bound and blinded by my defeatist attitude. But I'm not helpless. Remove the obstacle of defeatist thinking and let the fight begin.

MEDITATION: Queen of Wands

Use the tools I've been given. Learn about Energy management. Be gracious in the current position and move forward with my re-organized plans.

SHADOW CARD The Magician

It's all about learning to mast the basics. Go back to square one in my lifestyle change in eating and exercising habits. Follow the corriculum. Use the magic of my will to live.


The battle of the bulge is on! No defeatist thinking allowed in the ring. Re-organize my program, and back to the basics of mastery. My Mantra:

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Inner Classroom


As I shuffled the cards this morning, I thought about how I feel removed from The Mother, because I'm 'stuck' inside (of my own volition, not being a big fan of the colder months). I was thinking about how I might 'get closer' to Nature during these months of hibernation.

THEME: The Magician

Nature exists in all things. Begin or return to the basics. Look at the aspects of Nature with self, and even list what the main (four) aspects (elements) are and what shapes they take to study and explore their realms more closely. Even on this kind of day, the air and water are at the forefront in the stormy weather outside. These are feeding the Earth and the combination of all are the parts of Energy - Nature is out there and in here.

GUIDE: Five of Wands

The conflict within is a guide to seeing how the elements bump against each other like molecules do, creating and recreating and changing the structure or fabric of the moments. This is seeing life in action. I am reminded that friction is essential to the building blocks of making life.

MEDITATION: The Hanged Man

Seeing things from various perspectives allows our understanding of the basics of life to expand. Observe everything. The classroom is life itself, everywhere and in all things.

SHADOW CARD: Page of Cups

Make note of my reactions to every moment of the day. Emotion is an integral part of my nature, as is energy, and thought, and being spiritual.


Thinking of how to bring my relationship with Nature closer, when I can't be 'out' there, allows me to study the inner world of Nature. See the struggle of inner life and connect it to the larger world, to the Wheel and its turning. New points of view will help this endeavor and keeping note of emotional reaction will give a picture of the whole process as I move through my day. I am the experiment in the working of Nature. The classroom is inside me, and in the encapsulated world of a house, as much as it is outside in the rest of the Natural world. Make the connections to learn the process.